What I Learned in a Year of Marriage

I have officially been married for one year. Or in my husband's words, I've turned one in "wife years". Even though we were together for four years before we got married, living together and being husband and wife has changed our relationship and has taught me so much. So for all you newlyweds: here's what I've learned in my first year of marriage. 

1. Marriage is a compromise. And I mean that in a good way. The things you were never willing to do before...you'll find yourself doing all of them to make your other half happy. And vice versa. I'm not talking huge alterations to your beliefs and personality, just small adjustments. Like waking up at 5am to have coffee with your hubs before he leaves for work, or him willingly strolling through Nordstrom with you and not rushing or complaining haha. It's the little things :)  

2. Every day is a sleep over with your best friend. Hellooo, you get to live with your best friend! You can choose to spend as much time together as you'd like, plan fun hangouts (or do nothing together) and the best part is your BFF is always there in your times of need. 

3. Honesty is the best policy. Raise your hand if your man has ever asked you "what's wrong?" and you've replied "nothing", knowing damn well that if he doesn't guess what it is that upset you, all hell will break loose. Why play the games? No matter how silly or vulnerable it makes you feel, just tell the truth. You'll be happier knowing you can tell your man anything and they'll be happy just knowing they don't have to read your mind. 

4. Remain calm. Getting worked up and overly angry never helps a situation and most certainly won't end a fight. I think I've learned this the most from my husband. He somehow never gets worked up and he never, EVER raises his voice. It's one of the things I admire about him most. No matter how upset I am, him remaining calm always manages to calm me down too. 

5. Your spouse will annoy you. Get over it. Pigs will fly before I get a straight answer from my husband about any simple question...but hell will also freeze over the day I stop setting 16 alarms and snoozing them all 10 times each. Hey, nobody is perfect. If you can't let go of the little things, how will you ever have fun in life? 

6. You are one family now. His family is your family, and your family is his family. Always keep that balance but remember to do what's best for the two of you. Give importance to both families equally. It takes some time and can be hard after so many years of never having to think twice about where you will spend the holidays, but consider it a blessing. Some people don't have any family, now you have two! 

7. Pay attention. Your spouse may not always say what's on their mind, but if you pay attention you'll be able to figure it out. You learn so much about a person by living with them and observing them. And on the flip side, listen when they talk. Give them the respect of having your ear when they want to tell you something. Chances are you're the first person they thought to tell anyway. 

8. Be your own person. Have a girl's night. Let him have a guy's weekend. Do things separately also and always remember who you are. It takes two people to make a marriage work, don't get lost in yours. 

9. Share your finances. It's a huge step but it will teach you a lot about the other person and a lot about yourself. I personally have zero knowledge when it comes to investing and finances, but I'm finding that I learn a lot from my husband. Our opinions on how to spend/save/invest can be totally opposite sometimes, but that's when we each learn and grow the most. 

10. Travel the world together. Make memories to last a lifetime, try new things, go on adventures and learn about yourselves and the world around you. There is no greater bond than finding a sense of belonging with one person, in a part of the world where nobody else knows who you are. 

 

Since I've spent the last week reliving my entire wedding week, it seemed appropriate to share our wedding highlights with you guys. Enjoy!! 

xox

A.